Monday, December 26, 2011

A year in reflection...

A new year is coming but I want to take a moment and be thankful for the current year that is about to become a memory.

What a difference a year can make, 2011 - I will remember you as being the year my life radically changed. I look forward to moving on but I will always be particularly fond of this past year. Events in 2011 challenged me way beyond the physical realm, they strengthened me as a person. I will carry what I have learned on into the next year and all the years to come as I have chosen to adopt an entirely new lifestyle... I love it!

















The picture on the left was Christmas 2010, the one on the right was this year, Christmas 2011.

One year. One year can change everything.

What are you going to attack this next year? What is going to make 2012 memorable?


Happy New Year (soon)! May 2012 be a year full of laughter, health and fulfilled aspirations! Just go for it!

Love,

-Kimmy G

Thursday, December 15, 2011

For those moments you can look back on and think, "it was all worth it"

Because sometimes it's okay to feel beautiful.



In fact, sometimes it's awesome to completely embrace that.

More and more lately I have been able to experience things that many take for granted, yet, they are things that I have dreamed of for many years. They were things that I thought were impossible, and yet, here I am... right now, in this moment, living a dream. Sometimes it makes me so happy I could cry, and other times I still can't wrap my head around it.

I have lost 75lbs since last Christmas (65 since CrossFit)... yet the biggest change for me has been an emotional one. Each day I begin to embrace myself more, and I become that little bit more empowered to face the world head on... chin up. I have no reason to hide. I have been given an amazing gift and I have worked my frigging behind off for it.

Last night I was able to go out for a fun photo shoot with my friend Amy, and the beautiful and talented Melody (who took all the incredible pictures). I looked back at the picture she posted today and I was overwhelmed. I am not the girl I used to be, every day I keep getting better. It goes far beyond the physical change for me, mentally I am a different person too. I am stronger in every way and I am finally allowing myself to sit back and let that thought truly sink in.

It was worth every moment of pain, every tear, every ounce of sweat, every aching muscle, and every thought of "just one more." I will gladly continue to run this race; I have found a passion that improves my entire life. Because of crossfit, I will continue to get healthier and I will continue to live this dream.

Sometimes it's okay to feel beautiful; sometimes it's okay to spread your wings and let the world see.

You are beautiful in every way, show the world.

Love,

-Kimmy G

Friday, December 9, 2011

Realizations

It's amazing how much things can change in such a short period of time. It seems that nearly every day I am discovering something that I am now capable of that I wasn't before. As a result, I am beginning to dream bigger dreams and I am completely engrossed in the journey. I love the challenge of the seemingly "unconquerable."

Yesterday we did a 500m row at the gym, and I managed to break the previous gym record (which was short-lived because I was out-rowed in the next class, but who cares... this is awesome!). When I was told of this, I didn't celebrate right away, because I honestly believed there had to be some sort of mistake and I didn't want to celebrate to find that it wasn't a record afterall. This is the kind of thinking I need to change, I need to believe that I am capable of anything, and I need to continue to work and strive for those things.

A word that has always challenged me is the word "Athlete," this is a word that I would never have applied to myself, or even dreamed I would ever use in reference to myself. Now I am learning to give myself more credit, I have something to offer, and I will continue improving.


Athlete

I used to doubt my capacity to win
and achieve something so great as my health
The term “athlete” was my wildest dream
The thought so impossible
for myself

Until I realized my strength is a decision
beginning in my heart and desires
Spanning throughout my thoughts to impact my life
turning to passion and
spreading the fire

Hard work and dedication are now my plea
to myself, my motivation and drive
May I never lose sight of the road ahead
fighting the battle,
completely alive

I am finding my strength and using my voice
From this dream, you will not find me running
I choose to face challenges triumphantly
Victory on my lips,
I’m becoming


My promise to myself is to keep trying hard every day, and to continually remind myself that I am capable of greatness. If I do, every day I will improve and better myself.

Have a great day everybody... start believing in yourself! You'll be amazed what you're capable of if you'll just let yourself loose!

Love,

-Kimmy G

Monday, December 5, 2011

Be the voice that says "Yes"

Hey Guys,

Sorry for the long time in between posts... things have been really busy! Though, something is on my mind once again, so I couldn't help but take the opportunity to share it!

One common trend that was immediately apparent to me when I began going to Synergy was the encouragement from other members of the gym. Often their voices pushed me far beyond what I thought I was capable of, and they still do today. When everything inside of me is screaming "just stop and take a breather," their voices tell me that I can do it, and even my voice now says that I can... and I do.


I take this as a personal challenge. I want to be the mirror that reflects empowerment and encouragement to those that I encounter. With all of the negativity in this world, I believe that one voice can make a difference. Many voices helped to make a difference for me, including my own. It all starts with how we view ourselves, if we can embrace that, we can help others to do the same.

Be the voice that reflects light. Be the voice that says "Yes" for somebody who is scared to say it for themselves.

Love,

-Kimmy G

Monday, November 14, 2011

Never Say Never

Yes, Beiber does sing this. I may or may not love it. Perhaps you’ll understand why after reading this post.

Now that we have that little detail out of the way, let’s move on, shall we?

How often do we see something amazing, long for it, yet tell ourselves “that’ll never happen for me.”
Answer? Probably way more than we’d like to admit.

This is something I am immensely guilty of, and if we are all to be honest, I think we all are. I frequently find myself admiring other people, and rarely do I stop to consider that what I admire in them may be something I could one day possess as well. This obviously isn’t true for absolutely everything in life, but for a lot of things it certainly is. Hard work will go a long way. Wishing will get you nowhere, action will get you everywhere. Stop saying never, and start saying someday. Even more than that, start working towards it. You can do it! There is nothing about you that makes you any less capable of greatness than anyone else, it’s all in what you allow yourself to believe. If you let yourself believe in never, you’ll hit the nail on the head every time.

During my fast track at CrossFit (my first three sessions), I curiously asked how many girls could actually do pull-ups, and I was directed to look at a white board which was full of names. This left me in awe, and thinking immediately (after having just put out a brutal attempt at doing pull-ups with a lot of banding) that I would never make it to that place. Yet, I wanted it. I wanted it a great deal. It took me forever during the workouts to even progress to the bar, I did ring rows as a substitute every workout until July, which was when finally something switched in my brain. I knew that if I wanted to get there, I had to trust myself, and I had to let myself believe in someday. Once that mentality changed, I began to experience progress. A couple of weeks ago, I got my first non-banded kipping pull-up. I almost cried. I stopped believing in never, and began to believe in someday. Today is someday. In fact, my personal record is currently sitting at 7 pull-ups. Someday is a glorious thing, because if you keep believing in it and working for it, one day it will leave you in shock by showing up when you’d least expect it.

Do yourself a favor, start believing and seeking after your someday. Then, amaze yourself. :)

Love,

-Kimmy G

Monday, October 31, 2011

"Come At Me"

Because sometimes it's okay to take on challenges and believe that you're a superhero.

You may not be the strongest, you may not be the smartest, but you can choose to be the most determined. Determination will take you everywhere. If you think of the typical TV superheroes, what did they have in common? Most of them wouldn't be considered to be the strongest people in the world, and we have no way to know if they would be smarter than the average Joe. What do we know? We know that they were determined, and we see the results of that very determination as they accomplish inhuman feats of strength and bravery.

Why yes, I am aware these people are not real.

However, the lessons we can take from them certainly are real. When I started CrossFit, I was an incredibly far cry from the strongest, and I knew the least about anything in the gym. I had only one thing: determination. That determination brought me through a lot. That determination kept me fighting, and continues to keep me motivated and moving forward.

Is it really that simple? I think so. Of course there is hard work involved in anything, but determination is probably the biggest part of getting you anywhere. Are you determined to accomplish something? Stop waiting. Do it.

A friend of mine, Rhean, coined the phrase (from her sister), "come at me". I love everything about this phrase. I may not be the best in the room at what I am trying to do, but I am more than willing and determined to take on the challenge, and I know I will perform to the best of my abilities. That's all anybody can ask for, and more importantly, it's all I can ask and expect of myself.

Is there a take-away from this? For me, I'm learning to take on challenges head on, and trying to stop the self-doubt. The moment that I allow doubt to factor into the equation is the moment I have failed. So you know what? Whatever it may be...

COME AT ME!!! :)

Love,

-Kimmy G

Saturday, October 15, 2011

Sometimes to you need to confront the demons of the past to enable yourself to move forward...

Marion M. Graham Collegiate, that's where I found myself today after my workout at CrossFit. My old high-school (I graduated in 2004). Why would I want to be there on a Saturday afternoon? Simple, because I had some demons to confront. It was at this school that I really began to feel self-conscious about my weight, and where I really struggled with the idea of not being pretty enough, or not being worth a whole lot. Of course, I based many of my opinions on what others thought of me, and never took the time to realize that the only opinion that truly mattered was my own, and the opinions of those who loved me. It goes without saying that my biggest life struggle has been my weight, and high-school is where it all came to a head for me. High-school was a place where I had friends, and a place where I was a cheerleader, but it was also a place where I secretly compared myself to others, and secretly didn't like a whole lot about how I looked. None of the other cheerleaders had to get a special uniform ordered in for them because they couldn't fit the ones the school already had, I believed that I was only on the team because of my strength... when it came to anything involving even the slightest cardio, I fell behind substantially.

A few weeks ago, I got to thinking about this old version of me, and how I could show her that life gets so much better, and that she is worth so much more than she ever would have given herself credit for. Then it dawned on me, I needed to confront this part of my past head on. I used to dread the beginning of gym class, the teachers used to make us run this terrible thing called "the loop". The loop was a run that was roughly the length of running around three football fields.

Of course, try as I may have (and I did), I never successfully ran the entire loop. I used to make it one third of the way before having to walk the rest of the distance. This was a source of incredible embarrassment for me, because the other girls would generally be finishing the loop when I was reaching half-way. Though none of the girls ever bullied me for it, I certainly bullied myself. So today I decided to confront the loop, to once and for all leave it as a part of my past... only this time, a part of my past that I have conquered.

The feeling was bitter-sweet as I walked up to the field. I went and stood in the middle of the field and looked around, I felt like I was in high-school all over again. Only this time things were different, this time I knew who I was, and I knew that who I am matters. I also knew that I have a secret weapon, and that this time, the outcome was going to be drastically different. Without so much as giving it a second thought, I let a huge smile overtake my face, and I started running.

As I ran, my smile got even bigger. I made it one third of the way, where I used to stop, and I picked up speed and ran my heart out for all the times I had to choke back tears on that very path, and for all the times I used to tell myself I couldn't do it. I made it. I ran the entire thing. As I found myself back at the starting line, I was overwhelmed with so much emotion. Today is the day that I conquered the unconquerable. Today is the day I told myself that I am wonderful, I am capable, and I am worth so much more than I'll ever be able to understand.

At this point, I would be amiss not to thank all of the amazing people who have helped me to "see the light" in this last half a year. I owe so much to the gym that never judged me like I judged myself, and continued to find something within me that I never knew was there. Also, to all of my amazing friends and family who have supported me along this journey, you'll never know how much you all mean to me.

All of your support has kept me fighting, and will continue to as I joyfully run this race.

Love,

-Kimmy G

Wednesday, October 5, 2011

A Little Upside-Down

I love that everyday it seems a new challenge is waiting to meet me.

Today that challenge was entirely upside-down. Literally.

For months now at CrossFit, I have been admiring all of the wonderful athletes who are able to do hand stand push ups. I have been working hard at every given opportunity to get myself closer that point. Kicking myself upside-down against a wall is a bit terrifying, and up until today, I hadn't tried it. We were given 10 minutes today to work on our HSPU's, and I was challenged to give kicking up on the wall a try. With spotters, I got up upside-down on the wall! Of course, I came down rather quickly. Then, Chad challenged me to try and stay up on the wall for 60 seconds. The old me would have told him he was crazy, but the new me decided to try, and give it my best. I kicked up, and I held myself upside-down for 52 seconds! I'm not quite to 60 yet, but I wanted to scream "HEY WORLD, I'M UPSIDE-DOWN!!"

I will get that 60 seconds yet. Upside-down is awesome.

Speaking of upside-down, it seems a lot of things in life are beginning to be that way. The things I used to do and believe are almost becoming polar opposites. Yet another reason I love upside-down.


What's upside down, you ask?

Oh so many things. Here are a few:

I used to spend my spare time laying around and watching TV, now I spend my spare time at the gym (usually followed shortly thereafter by pajamas, c'mon, I can't give completely on the pajamas).

I used to doubt my capabilities to accomplish anything physical, now I work at them until they are accomplished.

I used to say the word "can't" regularly, now I use the words "I'll try my best" instead.

I used to eat copious amounts of pizza, now I loooooove eat broccoli. (Ha)


Anyway, things are definitely upside-down, and I'm oh so very happy about it. I feel like such a different person, not just physically, but emotionally as well. These are the things that keep me running ahead for that next goal.

Happy upside-down day to you all!

Love,

-Kimmy G

Sunday, September 25, 2011

The Beauty of Choice


Hey Guys,

I definitely had a new lightbulb moment today, as such, here I am to write about it. (Also, in case you are wondering, the picture on the left was taken last December, and the one on the right was today)

Such small events can spark such large moments of realization. For the last few weeks, I have found myself feeling a little bit like I have been "missing out" on certain things. Mostly things like eating junk at girls nights, and not having to pay attention to every little thing that I eat. No, I'm not obsessive over it, I have just become conscious of what I use to fuel my body. I try to make sure that what I am eating is healthy and practical for my body needs in a day. Though, there have certainly been days where I haven't completely maintained this, and then there are days where I secretly wish I could jump off the bus for a day.

Today I went winter jacket shopping; something that has been a rather frustrating experience for me in the past, as I have always had to shop in the mens' section. I used to pretend that I hated the girls' jackets anyway, because then I wouldn't feel the full force of the embarrassment that was waiting to smack me across the face. A few weeks ago I realized that my winter jacket would likely no longer fit, so I tried it on, and it was huge on me. I realized that it was definitely due time to get a new one, which was exciting, but still made me shudder a little bit. Well, I walked in there today, went straight to the ladies section, and tried on the first jacket that caught my eye. It fit. Then I tried on another, and another, and another... they all fit! In fact, I had my pick of any one of the womens' coats; it was my CHOICE! I feel like I chose wisely, I love my new winter coat. In fact, it's a size ladies medium! Yes, that just happened.

So here's the thing - I may sacrifice a few things from time to time, but those are things that would hold me back from even greater things! Today I got to feel what it was like to have a choice, which is something I haven't often experienced when shopping in my past. I'm not saying that I will be flawless from here on out, I'm just saying that I caught a really great glimpse of what it's like to feel amazing! It inspires me to keep going on this journey. No crash diets, just exercise, and a conscious mind.

I love choice!


Have a great Sunday everyone!

Love,

-Kimmy G

Monday, September 19, 2011

Stress and Exercise Are Friends!

This won't be a long post, as it is really only a simple observation.

I will not say that I am at the peak of stress by any means, but I have certainly been feeling slightly more uneasy than usual lately due to a few English tests in my near future. Of course, in true Kimmy G style, I have allowed myself to over think these next few days and have, as a result, wound myself up into a nice little knot. What I needed was some perspective, I found it at the gym.

What's more therapeutic than hurling your body over a wooden wall as many times as you can in a minute? (I can do 7-8 now!)

Probably lots of things... but none quite as ridiculous. It just so happens that I am a fan of ridiculous. As I allowed myself to really get into the workout tonight, I found the stress of what's going on right now slowly melting away. This makes me happy, I feel like school and crossfit will be perfect for each other. It's nice to have a healthy stress melter, beats eating an entire pail of ice cream! Okay, maybe the ice cream would be more enjoyable in the moment, but no one can deny that the rewards of exercising are plentiful and great!

So, is there a moral to all of this? Sure, if you want one! When life has you tense, stressed, angry, or in a pent-up-ball-of-emotion state... do something about it. Get out there, and get active!

Love,

-Kimmy G

Sunday, September 11, 2011

For those wonderful moments of "I can!"

Yesterday was awesome.

I competed in the Bridge City Beat Down at my gym, and now that I'm awake and coherent again (trust me, it took a while... a solid 8 hour sleep interrupted a few times by the need to change position - dictated by my screaming muscles, followed by an extensive nap on the couch during the Rider game) I thought I would write a short post about this weekend.

I went into this weekend with really low expectations, my goal was to celebrate where I am in life now, and enjoy wherever that took me. I was pumped to wind up 23rd out of 51 girls in my division. No matter where I placed though, the fact is that I did it. I held my own. Sure, my butt got dragged over what felt like, or, what must have been hot coals in that final workout, I was happy that I didn't quit. I can say without a doubt that I left everything I had in those workouts yesterday. So, I'm obviously pumped about where I placed, but even if that were not the case, I would still be so incredibly happy.

For me, this weekend was a milestone. An exciting way of looking back and celebrating what I am able to do now. As I was driving home yesterday, I had to laugh a little to myself. I found myself thinking, what if I could tell myself a year ago that I would be competing in a CrossFit competition on September 10th, 2011? I think I would have had a heart attack. Yet, there I was. Life is surprising and funny sometimes.

Anyway, I hope everybody that competed yesterday got to experience their own wonderful moments of "I can". It was awesome Synergy, you guys are all amazing people.

Love,

-Kimmy G

Tuesday, September 6, 2011

Says who?

What would life be without stepping out of the box a little bit lot a bit?

Many of us spend our lives being afraid to try new things because we're scared of what others may think. We feel this inherent need to protect ourselves by blending in. If I really thought hard about it, I could likely come up with many different scenarios in my life where this has been my story.

At least, it was my story until a few months ago when I realized that a limit is only something I have imposed on myself. It's amazing what I used to let my inner bully thoughts get away with. To borrow from Oprah, my "aha" moment happened this summer when I joined my gym's dragon boat team. I was totally insecure about it, and often thought that somebody else should have been sitting in my seat. I worried that I wasn't strong enough, or that I didn't have enough endurance. I was pleased to find that none of this was the case, and I held my own.

I used to think that I couldn't. Period. Couldn't what? Couldn't do anything that involved anything physical.

You know what?

Says WHO?

If I am the only one holding me back, then I have an exciting road ahead of me. This weekend I am competing in a CrossFit competition. I signed up without giving the reality of the situation my full attention, and I'm so glad I did. Regardless of where I place, if I finish, I have won a great battle. Every day I get to experience a little bit more of that victory.

Dear Saturday: Bring it on. I'm so ready for you.

Love,

-Kimmy G

Tuesday, August 30, 2011

Awesome

I think we could all admit that it's so much easier to dwell on the negative and unfortunate things in our lives than it is to focus on the positive. For a few months now, I have been compiling what I call my "awesome list" to counteract that part of my thinking. This all started when I read a post on my gym's blog talking about awesome things; that was the day I started my list. I have since been given the book of awesome by one of the coaches at my gym and I can't help but let it put a goofish grin on my face. Sometimes the most simple things can change the way you perceive what's going on around you.

As I see it, acknowledging awesome things goes hand-in-hand with staying in the moment. If I am able to appreciate things for being awesome, there's a good chance I'm also allowing myself to experience that moment fully.

So, without putting this off any further, here's some of the recent additions to my awesome list:


Awesome Is...

-
That first sip of coffee on a dreary Monday morning (at least there's SOME good in the world on a Monday!)

-The knowledge that I am capable of so much more than I have imagined for myself.

-Having the freedom and ability to further my education.

-Having an abundant amount of support behind me as I journey to become a healthier individual.

-Looking in the mirror and being proud of the gains I have made, and smiling at the person staring back at me. Also, knowing that it's only getting better.

-Going clothes shopping (haven't gone all summer, I'm definitely swimming in most of my clothes) and finding that the size I thought I miiiight just squeeze into were actually too big.

-Having random people come up to me telling me the changes that they've seen in me, this is definitely awesome. It feels so good, but just as awesome is being able to acknowledge and be proud of those things myself.

-The breaking point in a workout where I am ready to give up. When I push through, that feeling is awesome.

-Good friends, and an evening of hanging out.

-Impromptu dance parties (they may not happen for everyone, but for me, these are a daily occurrence)


Anyway, these are just a handful of things on my ever-growing list. I think it's important to acknowledge the awesome things in life, I want to be able to appreciate something new about every day.

On that note, I leave you with a quote that really caught my attention...

"I don't want to get to the end of my life and find that I have just lived the length of it. I want to have lived the width of it as well." -Diane Ackerman


Love,

-Kimmy G

P.S. Feel free to post things that you think are awesome!




Tuesday, August 23, 2011

For those moments that take your breath away...

Living in the moment.

Four seemingly simple cliché words to live your life by. So simple, and yet, I’ve yet to find anybody who is able to live their lives 100% in the moment. Do I think it’s healthy to always be in the moment? No, not completely. Without dreaming we would have no goals, and without goals we would have no ambition. However, if all we do is dream, we’ll miss out on so many great moments that are happening in our present. Sometimes I have to force myself to slow my mind down long enough to appreciate one simple fact; today is the future I dreamed about yesterday.

Now, some may be tempted to say that there’s nothing exciting happening right at this exact moment, and as a result, it’s just fine to have our heads in the clouds. I disagree. If I really think about it, I used to dream about a day when my life would be different; when I would be healthier and I would be happier. While it is easy to make the mistake of thinking that there is nothing worthy of my attention at this moment, this is certainly not the case. The fact is, I am healthier and happier than I have been in a long time and that alone is reason enough to slow down and enjoy this moment.

Yes, things may not be absolutely perfect. In fact, my back is sore and I can’t go to the gym right now but I am learning that circumstances don’t have to alter the greatness of this moment. I could choose to dwell on the fact that I am missing out on time at the gym, or I could choose to get really excited about the day that I’ll be able to return; instead, I choose to focus on the fact that today is the day I dreamed about months ago. I will enjoy it.

So here’s to those moments that will take our breath away, may we all have the ability to realize them, and the presence of mind to experience them fully.

-Kimmy G

Friday, August 19, 2011

Butterflies

The butterfly is definitely one of nature's marvels. After having spent days slugging along on its belly, one day, the caterpillar decides to make a change. How does he do this? First of all, he comes to terms with his need to change, and then he begins the exhaustive process of making a cocoon. Through time and persistence, it is here that he is changed. Suddenly, his life is filled with brilliant color and new experiences; I am realizing that I am like that caterpillar.

Just like the caterpillar, my journey has certainly been a physical (as well as mental) change, and will continue to be as I travel down this road. A few years ago I realized that I was in a place I didn't want to be, and I started to make some steps to overhaul my life. Unfortunately, due to many different reasons, my success was minimal. Part of the problem was that I was unable to find a form of exercise that brought me joy, and another part of it was being afraid to commit to anything wholeheartedly. When you are a caterpillar, it's hard to believe that one day you will ever be a butterfly like those around you. It's scary to allow yourself to dream, let alone to take actions to make those dreams a reality.

Well, there came a day in my caterpillar life when I decided it was time to make the change, or give up on the dream entirely. It was at this time that I stumbled across the CrossFit website... thank-you, Google! With only having read the website, and throwing some e-mails back and fourth, I decided to join. Sure, it was scary at first, of course the workouts left me flat on my behind, but none of that mattered. In the light of being able to make a change and being so supported by this new-found network of CrossFit lovers, I knew that if I committed myself fully to changing my life, this time it would actually happen.

I am happy to say that my change is happening, and bit-by-bit I'm becoming a stronger person; both mentally and physically. I decided to start this blog on the request of somebody I work with. I plan to use it to share my thoughts as I am confronted with those little light bulb moments on my journey toward changing my life. Make no mistake, while this blog may seem to have a lot to do with weight loss, it has very little to do with weight loss at the same time. This blog is about becoming healthy, changing my life, and enjoying the awesome moments along the way.

So, if you're with me for the journey, feel free to check in. I don't know how often I will post, but when something comes to mind that I get excited to blab about, you can bet that you will find it on here! Until then, have a fabulous unspecified amount of time!

Love,

-Kimmy G