Monday, October 31, 2011

"Come At Me"

Because sometimes it's okay to take on challenges and believe that you're a superhero.

You may not be the strongest, you may not be the smartest, but you can choose to be the most determined. Determination will take you everywhere. If you think of the typical TV superheroes, what did they have in common? Most of them wouldn't be considered to be the strongest people in the world, and we have no way to know if they would be smarter than the average Joe. What do we know? We know that they were determined, and we see the results of that very determination as they accomplish inhuman feats of strength and bravery.

Why yes, I am aware these people are not real.

However, the lessons we can take from them certainly are real. When I started CrossFit, I was an incredibly far cry from the strongest, and I knew the least about anything in the gym. I had only one thing: determination. That determination brought me through a lot. That determination kept me fighting, and continues to keep me motivated and moving forward.

Is it really that simple? I think so. Of course there is hard work involved in anything, but determination is probably the biggest part of getting you anywhere. Are you determined to accomplish something? Stop waiting. Do it.

A friend of mine, Rhean, coined the phrase (from her sister), "come at me". I love everything about this phrase. I may not be the best in the room at what I am trying to do, but I am more than willing and determined to take on the challenge, and I know I will perform to the best of my abilities. That's all anybody can ask for, and more importantly, it's all I can ask and expect of myself.

Is there a take-away from this? For me, I'm learning to take on challenges head on, and trying to stop the self-doubt. The moment that I allow doubt to factor into the equation is the moment I have failed. So you know what? Whatever it may be...

COME AT ME!!! :)

Love,

-Kimmy G

Saturday, October 15, 2011

Sometimes to you need to confront the demons of the past to enable yourself to move forward...

Marion M. Graham Collegiate, that's where I found myself today after my workout at CrossFit. My old high-school (I graduated in 2004). Why would I want to be there on a Saturday afternoon? Simple, because I had some demons to confront. It was at this school that I really began to feel self-conscious about my weight, and where I really struggled with the idea of not being pretty enough, or not being worth a whole lot. Of course, I based many of my opinions on what others thought of me, and never took the time to realize that the only opinion that truly mattered was my own, and the opinions of those who loved me. It goes without saying that my biggest life struggle has been my weight, and high-school is where it all came to a head for me. High-school was a place where I had friends, and a place where I was a cheerleader, but it was also a place where I secretly compared myself to others, and secretly didn't like a whole lot about how I looked. None of the other cheerleaders had to get a special uniform ordered in for them because they couldn't fit the ones the school already had, I believed that I was only on the team because of my strength... when it came to anything involving even the slightest cardio, I fell behind substantially.

A few weeks ago, I got to thinking about this old version of me, and how I could show her that life gets so much better, and that she is worth so much more than she ever would have given herself credit for. Then it dawned on me, I needed to confront this part of my past head on. I used to dread the beginning of gym class, the teachers used to make us run this terrible thing called "the loop". The loop was a run that was roughly the length of running around three football fields.

Of course, try as I may have (and I did), I never successfully ran the entire loop. I used to make it one third of the way before having to walk the rest of the distance. This was a source of incredible embarrassment for me, because the other girls would generally be finishing the loop when I was reaching half-way. Though none of the girls ever bullied me for it, I certainly bullied myself. So today I decided to confront the loop, to once and for all leave it as a part of my past... only this time, a part of my past that I have conquered.

The feeling was bitter-sweet as I walked up to the field. I went and stood in the middle of the field and looked around, I felt like I was in high-school all over again. Only this time things were different, this time I knew who I was, and I knew that who I am matters. I also knew that I have a secret weapon, and that this time, the outcome was going to be drastically different. Without so much as giving it a second thought, I let a huge smile overtake my face, and I started running.

As I ran, my smile got even bigger. I made it one third of the way, where I used to stop, and I picked up speed and ran my heart out for all the times I had to choke back tears on that very path, and for all the times I used to tell myself I couldn't do it. I made it. I ran the entire thing. As I found myself back at the starting line, I was overwhelmed with so much emotion. Today is the day that I conquered the unconquerable. Today is the day I told myself that I am wonderful, I am capable, and I am worth so much more than I'll ever be able to understand.

At this point, I would be amiss not to thank all of the amazing people who have helped me to "see the light" in this last half a year. I owe so much to the gym that never judged me like I judged myself, and continued to find something within me that I never knew was there. Also, to all of my amazing friends and family who have supported me along this journey, you'll never know how much you all mean to me.

All of your support has kept me fighting, and will continue to as I joyfully run this race.

Love,

-Kimmy G

Wednesday, October 5, 2011

A Little Upside-Down

I love that everyday it seems a new challenge is waiting to meet me.

Today that challenge was entirely upside-down. Literally.

For months now at CrossFit, I have been admiring all of the wonderful athletes who are able to do hand stand push ups. I have been working hard at every given opportunity to get myself closer that point. Kicking myself upside-down against a wall is a bit terrifying, and up until today, I hadn't tried it. We were given 10 minutes today to work on our HSPU's, and I was challenged to give kicking up on the wall a try. With spotters, I got up upside-down on the wall! Of course, I came down rather quickly. Then, Chad challenged me to try and stay up on the wall for 60 seconds. The old me would have told him he was crazy, but the new me decided to try, and give it my best. I kicked up, and I held myself upside-down for 52 seconds! I'm not quite to 60 yet, but I wanted to scream "HEY WORLD, I'M UPSIDE-DOWN!!"

I will get that 60 seconds yet. Upside-down is awesome.

Speaking of upside-down, it seems a lot of things in life are beginning to be that way. The things I used to do and believe are almost becoming polar opposites. Yet another reason I love upside-down.


What's upside down, you ask?

Oh so many things. Here are a few:

I used to spend my spare time laying around and watching TV, now I spend my spare time at the gym (usually followed shortly thereafter by pajamas, c'mon, I can't give completely on the pajamas).

I used to doubt my capabilities to accomplish anything physical, now I work at them until they are accomplished.

I used to say the word "can't" regularly, now I use the words "I'll try my best" instead.

I used to eat copious amounts of pizza, now I loooooove eat broccoli. (Ha)


Anyway, things are definitely upside-down, and I'm oh so very happy about it. I feel like such a different person, not just physically, but emotionally as well. These are the things that keep me running ahead for that next goal.

Happy upside-down day to you all!

Love,

-Kimmy G