Sorry for the lack of updates lately. The truth? For the last couple of months I've been a basket case of stress and emotion. Once I finished my degree before Christmas, I began applying everywhere possible for teaching jobs. In such a competitive job market, I found myself growing increasingly discouraged with each passing day. I completed my degree with all the confidence in the world, and as I waited for life to start happening, that confidence began to deplete. I worried too much. I let what was out of my control become my focus.
That's a dangerous place to be. What brought me back? The gym. It seems it's always the gym. This week, as I took the time to refocus on my physical goals (after quite a while of being mentally elsewhere), I found my awareness shifting to what I can influence and control: myself. I can influence and control how I treat my body, both physically and emotionally. I can make sure I get to the gym to work out and do mobility; in turn, I will also strengthen emotionally. As I have begun to refocus on my physical strength this week, I've also refocused and reminded myself that I am an excellent and passionate teacher. I remind myself the right position will come when it is meant to. Perhaps right now I am meant to grow. I can choose to take this time to withdraw, or I can choose to use it to better myself. I will eat right, I will work out, I will maintain my body. I will read, I will write, and I will exercise my mind. I will grow. I will control those things I can, and be at peace with those I cannot.
For now I will embrace any substitute teaching job that comes my way, and I will take the time in between to better myself. The gym has that feeling of home to me, and I am lucky and blessed to be able to spend time there each day. I suppose this post is just to speak to the mode of transition I'm in. Where am I headed? Who knows. But that's going to be part of the fun. :)
I'm so thankful for that feeling of home, and the inspiration and hope my second home of Synergy is giving me as I continue to put the puzzle together. You all matter so much to me.
With so much love,