I know I've been on quite a hiatus from this blog... I blame life! Though, I suppose I should re-word that; I thank life. Life has been full. I'm not huge on new year's resolutions and I never have been, but I'm always making goals. Sometimes I write them down and sometimes I just keep them floating around in my mind. As 2014 drew to a close, I read something I thought was profound and decided to take it on as my personal mantra for 2015; perhaps you could even call it my resolution. It is this:
In 2015 I want to live from a place of hope, not fear. I want to make choices with bravery knowing that I may not succeed immediately, but that I'll have a chance if I try. Living from a place of fear is living in complacency. It's safe there, but it's also a sad place. I've learned too much about being happy to be okay with that.
Tonight I had a moment where I acted on a hope and told my fear to take a back seat. Especially in the past couple of years with school ending and my career taking off, I've been struggling with my necessary decision to spend (a wee bit) less time at the gym. I aim to get there 4 times a week now instead of 5. There have been weeks where even this has not been possible. Though I know I'm not at the same caliber I once was, I have taken great pride in knowing I am healthy. My current gym goal is to maintain 4 times a week and to stop convincing myself I can't do things because I'm there one less time per week. Tonight we were working on handstand pushups. A couple of years ago, I did an assisted handstand pushup with help from some bands and from a coach to kick up and keep me steady. Recently, I've been putting a lot of work into throwing fear to the side and gaining the courage to kick upside down on the wall without assistance. I have gained confidence. Tonight, I allowed myself to hope and I tried kicking up on the wall by myself (without the assistance of a coach) with bands... I got up. Then the kicker? I managed to get 2 handstand pushups (with the bands)! I am so excited! This one can be chalked up to technique practice and hoping enough in the potential to try. Heck yes!
So here's to 2015... to replacing fear with hope.