It seems with every year that passes, I get to know myself a little bit better. Not only that, I suppose you could say I give myself permission to be myself a little bit more with each passing year.
I've been doing CrossFit for just over 4 years and this blog has been largely about that journey - from a darker place in my life to the significantly healthier place I'm in today. The affirmation this journey has given me has afforded me the confidence I needed to truly begin following my heart in everything I do. Looking back, it's definitely true I've spent too much of my life wondering what other people are thinking about me and my decisions rather than focusing solely on what feeds my soul. That being said, I think it's a relatively natural phenomenon, but one I've been aware of and am trying to work on lately nonetheless.
When my facebook feed blew up with posts about Synergy hosting a rookie strongman/woman competition just over a month ago, my curiosity was instantly piqued. However, I quickly talked myself out of it - I was training CrossFit at the time, after all. I thought that was that, but my mind was far from over it. I thought about the greatest moments I've had in the last four years of CrossFit... they have been when we've had strength biased workouts. Strength has always been my thing. I was scared to take the jump though... what if I hurt myself? What if I didn't know what I was doing? Even more than that... what if I fell in love with it? Would I be able to love myself as a strong woman?
With the greatest amount of nerves and unanswered questions, to be true to what my heart was saying, two days before event day, I signed up.
I was wrong.
There was this nagging voice in the back of my head telling me not to waste this opportunity. After talking to some of the amazing strong ladies/men at our gym, I realized the things I was worried about were based on the opinions of others and had very little to do with reality. So began my official switch into strongman training.
Since making the switch, I have been having a blast. I was nervous I may not get enough cardio with this new program, but I'm still finding myself flat on my rear after our workouts and I'm feeling the results of a workout well done. Just because I choose strength does not mean I do not also choose conditioning and eating well. My fears are floating away. I'm loving our meetings of the strong ladies/men and I'm fired up in a good way. It's awesome to feel this way about training again. It's powerful to be among like-minded, beautiful people.
I'm committing myself to this program until October when I plan to take a whack at competing in the Strength Symposium. At that point, I'll continue to follow my heart and re-evaluate. For now, it's telling me to admire, respect, and be proud of being a strong woman. Just as some other incredible ladies did for me, I hope to do my part to change the stigma of strength in women.
Here goes another exciting journey!